How to be a Bowser fan Step-and-Step Guide
by Comfy 'n Cozy
Summary: This hand guide will teach you how to be just like your evil and awesome Koopa King! Got this idea from a fanfic titled: How to be a Mario fan 101. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1: Getting Started

_How to be a Bowser fan Hand Guide_

_Written by: Your Epic and Awesome Ruler: King Bowser_

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Nintendo. Also, I got this idea off of a fanfic that was titled: How to be a Mario fan 101. I thought maybe I could continue it with a Bowser theme.

**Chapter 1: Getting Started**

**Step 1: **Be awesome. _Note: Because if you can't, you're not Bowser-worthy!_

**Step 2: **Drink spicy hot pepper sauce with a hint of Volcano Hot Sauce in order to breathe fire.

**Step 3: **Have a whole minion training facility. _Note: Find someone that will obey your every command._

**Step 4: **Steal a princess from a fat man in a plumber outfit, and then get pummeled by him.

**Step 5: **Have a Fanfiction account named: Bowserisepic.

**Step 6: **Attach paper horns to your head with a piece of duct tape.

**Step 7: **Have seven kids and put different colored shells on them. Name them the Koopalings' names from Super Mario Bros. Wii. _Note: Make sure they get pummeled by Mario too!_

**Step 8: **Slap on a Bowser-worthy spiky shell. Make sure it's awesome. _Note: It has to be big and evil-looking too!_

**Step 9: **Get bit by a vampire and make sure your pointy teeth come in. _Note: They have to be big pointy teeth!_

**Step 10: **Tape paper pointy claws on your fingers for an awesome evil look! _Note: Make sure to get a manicure every two weeks._

**Step 11: **Have an awesome evil laugh that can shake the ground and scare the little mortals until they quiver in fear!

**Step 12: **Have an awesome Koopa Clown Ship with a clown face on the front. _Note: Hey… clowns are scary okay?_

**Step 13: **Make your minions build an awesome and amazing castle surrounded by lava, piranha plants, and enemies of your choice.

**Step 14: **Have an old hag named Kammy Koopa and make her be your servant.

**Step 15: **When you rule the world, place pedestals of your best looks all around houses and buildings.

**Step 16: **Go into space and rule the universe, simple.

**Step 17: **Race in Mario Kart tournaments. _Note: Remember: when you win, stick your tongue out at Mario._

**Step 18: **For Halloween, be me! Because I'm terrifying! Gwa ha haaa!

**Step 19: **Create levels for Mario.

**Step 20: **Have a past-self, meet him, and then team up to destroy Mario.


	2. Chapter 2: Next Steps!

**Author's Note: **Hello fellow readers! Just thought I'd chime in real quick and say thanks to the people that reviewed: **Coooool123** and **tylovestree**! Thanks so much you two! ^^

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Nintendo or any of it's creations.

_**WARNING**_! There will be some spoilers in this chapter so if you haven't completed Super Mario Sunshine or haven't gotten far in Super Paper Mario, skip steps 26 and 29!

**Chapter 2: **Next steps!

**Step 21: **Dip yourself in lava and be called Dry Bowser! _Note: Enter Mario kart Tournaments._

**Step 22: **Sundays will be your day off from kidnapping Peach.

**Step 23: **For Christmas, kidnap Santa Claus and demand an army. _Note: Get him to put you on the awesome list too! Because Bowser is awesome!_

**Step 24: **Wreak mayhem on Toad Town every Tuesdays!

**Step 25: **Have awesome Bowser castle remixes!

**Step 26: **Hire a plumber/mechanic to fix any of your broken robot machines!

**Step 27: **No diets! EVER!

**Step 28: **Own a pet Chain Chomp and name him Chomp McPointy.

**Step 29: **Ruin Mario's vacation.

**Step 30: **Eat some mushroom from a weirdo in a forest and suck up everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom!

**Step 31: **Call Luigi, Green 'Stache! _Note: Because he wears green, and he has a mustache… get it? Gwa ha haaa!_

**Step 32: **Make green Koopas walk off cliffs and red Koopas to turn around. _Note: Hey, it makes me laugh okay?_

**Step 33: **When Mario gets to your lair, hide that stupid axe so he can't take down the bridge!

**Step 34: **On Peach's birthday, kidnap her using a giant cake! _Note: What? Being creative is awesome!_

**Step 35: **Play a Mario game and get a game over!

**Step 36: **Make sure that the last minion in the castle shuts the drawbridge! _Note: I cannot tell you how many times I had to tell MY minions to shut the drawbridge!_

**Step 37: **Join the Bowser is Awesome Club of Evilness!

**Step 38: **Be nicknamed: Violent Face-Puncher.

**Step 39: **Lift Peach's castle into space! _Note: So not only am I kidnapping Peach, but her castle too!_

**Step 40: **Steal the Star Rod from the Star Spirits and become invincible!

**Author's Note: **Okay… somewhere around the step 30's part, I started making things up. Sorry if this wasn't creative enough but hopefully you'll like it! ^^


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